LITTLE WHITE LIE

Hello readers.

This post marks the beginning of my reviews on some of the films watched at this year's trinidad+tobago film festival.

The first film I saw was titled Little White Lie. This film was a 65 minute USA documentary feature, directed by Lacey Schwartz, who happens to also be the main actress in the film.

The film is a true story about a young girl, Lacey Schwartz, growing up in a white Jewish family in upstate New York and being told that she is white, although everything about her screams black. When she or anyone else questioned her ethnicity, the answer was always the same, that her dark complexion and curly hair were a result of an Italian ancestor.

Lacey with her mom and dad

Italian Ancestor..any resemblance?

Over time everyone swept the questions and comments under the rug and acted as though there wasn't a big elephant in the room every time they had a family gathering.

Lacey and family

Lacey attended a school with mostly white children, and although her friends thought that she looked very different from them, they ignored it because they knew her parents were completely white, so maybe she did resemble that Italian ancestor after all. For Lacey, the struggle was very real, she saw how different she looked from all her white friends, her complexion was always so much darker, and her hair was not anywhere close to straight. She tried her very best to look like them, always straightening her hair, anything that would make her NOT stand out. My heart really went out to this young girl, looking on at her trying her best to look like her family and her friends.
Eventually Lacey moved to another school, this school was much more diverse than her previous school and students started asking questions. The black kids would look at her and ask, "what are you?" and Lacey knowing no other answer, would always reply and say that she's white.
When Lacey was in the process of applying for Georgetown University, on the application form, she was required to select her ethnicity and for the first time in her life, she had not a single clue what to choose; therefore leaving that part of the application form blank. Together with her application, she had to send in a picture of herself and upon receiving her application, the University, by default, declared her as a black student. This was a life changing moment for Lacey, and for the first time in her life, she allowed herself to entertain the thought of being black. At University, she became a member of the black community and no one questioned her presence there as she looked and acted the part. Being black came natural to her, she did not have to pretend to be something she was not and it was easier than always having to explain that she's white and about that Italian ancestor of hers.

Anytime Lacey thought about speaking to her parents about why she thought she was black, although they were both clearly white, she found ways to avoid dealing with the issue and kept putting it off. Over time her parents marriage broke up and eventually Lacey decided that it was time to confront her mother.

It's about time..

When Lacey questioned her mother, she learned the dreadful news that her mother had an affair. Long before Lacey was born, her mother was placed in charge of managing a playground and there was a man working there with the children, teaching them to play basketball and Lacey's mom and this man got involved with each other. This was before Lacey's mom got married, but the involvement between Lacey's mother and this man went on even after her mom got married. It was a few years after her mother was married, that she got pregnant for the man. Her mother was ashamed so she kept it all a secret and over the years when Lacey's complexion and curly hair was blamed on an Italian ancestor, the mother attached herself to that lie and even started to believe it. Even Lacey's biological father once speculated on the fact that Lacey resembled him and could actually be his daughter, but Lacey's mom shut him down instantly and told him that he was not her father. The worst part to Lucy was that she did not know if the man who she thought was her father her entire life, knew that she was not his daughter; she had not a clue how to break the news to him because she knew this news would break his heart. Lacey's mom admitted to her that her relationship with her biological father was purely sexual, so although she had an affair she stayed with her husband because he was the family man, he was the one who was steady and had enough money to take care of them.

Lacey as a child

Lacey and her mom

Lacey and her mom

Lacey tried to get to know her biological father and his family. Apparently he had a significantly large number of children for different women. But no matter how much time she spend with her real father and his family, she felt nothing for him or any of them, she felt completely disconnected; there was no bond. Some time after, her biological father passed away and she went to the funeral accompanied by her mom and some of her family members, and she knew now that everyone would know the truth; there was no more hiding who she was anymore, there was no turning back.
She decided that it was time to face the man who she thought was her father. She started off by telling him that she did not feel white, she never felt white; her entire life she felt like black. She thought that her father would catch on and get what she was saying without her having to blurt out the painful obvious fact that she was not his daughter but he just took a different look at the situation and said yes he knew she felt black because she always listened to different kinds of music and wore different clothes and hung out with different people. It was as if her father refused to accept the fact that she was black, because accepting that she was black would mean a lot of things, firstly, that she was not his real daughter and secondly, that his wife was unfaithful during the marriage, so instead he twisted the situation and shut down what she was going to say completely.

After that, her father became distant and told her that he could not deal with this now and needed some time to sort things out. Eventually he did admit that he knew that her mother was having an affair but like everything else, they pushed it under the rug and acted like everything was normal. On the surface they did seem like a perfectly normal, American family, but down under, they were anything but normal. Lucy's experience was not complete until she could finally express to everyone who she really was and when she did, with it came freedom to be who she was always meant to be.

At the end of the film, Lucy is seen at her wedding, looking beautiful, free and radiant and is marrying a handsome black man. The wedding is a Jewish one and both of her parents are at the wedding to give her away to her new husband.

Lacey and Husband

My honest opinion is that this film was excellently done. I admire and applaud the fact that Lacey Schwartz allowed us to entire her personal life and let us see some of her most vulnerable, deep and darkest moments. I have absolutely no negative views about this film, it touched so many crucial topics, that I am sure many people would be able to relate to it.
An aspect of the film that really stood out to me personally, was the amount of secrecy and the"Let's all just push everything under the rug and pretend we're all perfect" idea that families tend to hold onto. I have seen this in my own family and it ALWAYS irks me. So to see Lacey battle with this
very issue, although in a different context, was very relatable for me and I admired that she stood up and said enough is enough and decided to do something about it.

After the film, Lacey Schwartz was available for the audience to ask questions about her film. She received large amounts of positive comments from the audience, as well as a deep appreciation and understanding of her film. Trinidad is mixed with so many different races and a lot of people are bi-racial just like Lacey, so they understand a lot of the issues that came her way while growing up, going to school, becoming a woman and eventually coming to terms with herself and accepting and loving who she truly is.
When Lacey was asked the question of how she was able to get her parents to agree to do the film, she said that she simply asked them if they would take part and she appreciated that they agreed to do so; but she rightly said that if they had refused, she was going to make this film with or without them. To be honest, I could not have agreed with her more. I think it was very selfish that her mother kept this knowledge from her for so long, especially when she saw her struggling to find her identity and trying so hard to look more like them. It was very unfair, cruel actually. So, for Lacey to come out and expose everything that happened and how she came to discover herself, it's all truly commentable and very brave.

So yep, I personally find that this was a great way to start off the film festival. The movie was truly worth it, can't wait to see the others!
Let me know what you all think about this film =)

Attached below is the trailer for the film :